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[Sep. 12th, 2006|11:14 pm] |
Carrots and Grapes....
Carrots and Grapes....
Protein.
Carrots and Grapes....
Eating healthy sucks. :) |
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[Sep. 8th, 2006|03:50 am] |
You know what i love?
I love peanut mms. Heck yes baby.
I love Cory Shawn and Tapanga. For those of you who dont know what im talking about, you have yet to live a full life.
I love it when someone is so comfertable with you that they fall asleep when they are hanging out with you. haha I know it sounds like something that should offend me. But it doesnt. You know that they are comfertable if they are sleeping.
I love it when my friends tell me that they love me.
I love being surprised.
I love the smell of the fall. Candles and that fresh breeze you get right before it rains.
I love standing in the rain.
I love singing in the rain.
I love Red Baron's single serving pizza's. im craving one right now. But im not hungry.
I love my senior pictures. and i love the girl who took them.
I love to dance.
I love my job.
I love getting into movies for free.
I love it when my cousins spend the night and sleep in my bed and we stay up till 7am talking about absolutly nothing and laughing for no particular reason.
I love silliness.
I love writing. Writing is the only way i have found to accurately show the many sides of my soul.
I love veggie tales. Its full of silliness.
I absolutly love with all of my heart those three way popcorn tins that you can buy at target and wal mart or wherever with the cheese/caramel/butter popcorn. Christmas isnt Christmas until ive eaten from one of those. Its all about the cheese popcorn.
I love Opera's Christmas givaway show. Man. What i wouldnt give to be part of that.
I love family guy. haha. Stewie is...for lack of a better word. Amazing. haha. Have you seen the episode.... ? haha.
I love sticky post it notes.
I love quoting movies. Haha. sorry if your one of those people who hates it when people quote movies. Im one of them.
I love my journals and my scrapbooks! Everything you will ever need to know about me is in those books.
I love boys. Well..at least the part where i get to look at them.
I love ipods. MUSIC IS MY LIFE.
I love that i may get to go to tennessee.
I love purfume and lipstick. Make up. I love it!
I love taking pictures. I love capturing a moment in ways that most people dont see it. You see the world in a differant way when you look at it through a lense.
I love when i can take conrol of my situation.
I love neosporin. haha. i know. but i do.
I love it when people choose to satisfy your needs over theres. (i love that to an extent.) I just love it because it shows you who your true friends are. Those that are willing to sacrifice. Even if its just half a chicken tender combo when you didnt bring a lunch and dont have any money. :)
I love God.
I love it when i feel close to God. It doesnt happen very often.
I love it when i find the perfect outfit in one minute. and then my hair and make up just looks fantastic and theres no explanation for it.
I love candies cologne for men. There is nothing hotter.
I love it when people buy me flowers. Its very special.
I love painting and decorating.
I LOVE CONCERTS! Foo fighters was amazing!
I love baking.
I love my supervisors and bosses! i could not be happier. Mike is amazing! i love his ties.
There will be more later....check it out in a week or so. |
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[Sep. 8th, 2006|01:30 am] |
I am sad. And there is no one here i can talk too. We spend our entire lives looking for someone who will understand us. Someone who will listen to our plight and give us the coveted answers that we are looking for. What if there is no answer? What if the one thing you want more than anything in the world was destined to never be given to you? What if you spend your entire life looking for it, but it never comes. You die alone and unhappy, wondering where you went wrong. But maybe its not you. Maybe its just your fate. No matter what you did in your life, it still would have been this way. It was pre-destined. You had no choice. I suppose thats why the only way to truly be happy is to take the situation that is given to you at that very moment and make peace with it, wanted or not. To be happy....You must accept your unhappiness as it is, as it has been given to you. And just see it as what it is. A temporary circumstance. It doesnt have to rule your life. But it does. It always does. We let our circumstance control our happiness. No wonder we are all killing eachother. Killing ourselves. Why do we do it?
I miss my friends. I never see them anymore. And the ones i do see...they arent the people i used to know. Everything is changing and its not bad. But its not good either. I dont know what it is. Its just change. It scares me. Dont misunderstand me! I dont like it when things don't change, but the second things start to change, for better or worse i want to run away. Far, far away where it wont effect me...Not that im happy where i am. I need a change. I just dont see whats in front of me because there are obstacles in my way and i cant see past them but i dont want to jump over them because im afraid of the fall after i jump. :) Im rediculous. Me in my Damned humanity.
So i decided to just start moving. Just start changing. Doing what i need to do to get out of the rutt ive been in. But now im just stuck here, waiting for the changes to happen. Oh, and they will happen. Im in the calm before the storm and im terrified of it. New school, new job, new attitude. Everything has changed...But the one thing that i want more than anything else in the world still hasnt come. Im waiting on it God. I dont feel like i can be complete without it. Ive prayed for it, my family has prayed for it. And all i get are these glimmers of false hope, pretending to be an answer to prayer. Why is it that you listened to my mom when she prayed that i would have small boobs? But now, something that means so much to me your just waiting on it. Why? What am i not seeing? In your time......He makes all things beautiful in his time. I just cant seem to remember that. I hate waiting for you. I hate it. |
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| HE'S SO HOT. Im rediculous. |
[Sep. 6th, 2006|01:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | RED End of Silence | ] |
I really hate the fact that the first journal that i'm entering has to do with boys, because they really aren't a big part of my life right now, but I met someone yesterday that I just cant seem to get out of my head. He's completely not my type. He's a hick and a total goof and he's not smooth even in the slightest.....and i think he is the most amazing thing i have seen in a long time. :) Not to mention, hes really hot. I went boating with him and his cousins the other night and I had a really good time. I was nervous at first...never met these guys, my cousin, who brought me along with her to meet them had only talked with them a few times, and we were going out on a boat with them. Kind of a weird place to be. But I slowly got comfortable and i noticed that he kept looking at me...and i at him....and the way he looked at me wasn't like most guys. It wasn't "man shes hot i want to bang her." It was, "wow, shes beautiful". It was the sweetest look ive ever seen. :0 if i got a look like that for the rest of my life, i would be the happiest woman in the world. I don't know if he would ever even consider me date worthy but i don't care. Because i could just tell that he had such a high regard for me and my comfort level. When the sun was in my eyes, he took off his sunglasses and gave them to me. When i was shy, he talked to me. When i was uncomfortable, he told me there was no need. Matter of fact, all of the guys were great. Such Gentleman, i wasn't expecting. Guys who know how to have a good time, that's for sure. I am so glad to have met these people, even if only for a day, who grab life by the reigns and just go for it. No wasting time in front of a computer or a tv. :) just always doing something that enriches their lives. So, as you can imagine, i really want to see these guys again, but my only connection to them is through my cousin. She's leaving in two days and wont be back for two weeks. That sucks. So i have to be patient. And i'm so stupid, cause every time i like a guy, it just never works. So i am sitting here thinking about him and i cant stop and i'm trying so hard. But i'm a dork, therefore, it wont work out. :) Not that i even really need it too. I'm really happy with my life, its just.....I need my M-O. BAD. ha. Ok...i promise the next wont be about such silly things. |
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feelingslinger's journal
tired